Macrame?

Words fail.

The massive tree is OK, really, you don't need the tiny cams.

The tiny trees.

The loose ties got away from the tree that washed in, levitated up the bank, and attached themselves to the big tree.

Use the 3 inch tree and run the knot 3 feet up from the base.

All the rope you need...

The guys at the gym told him to use a runner, carabiner and clove hitch, despite having a pile of extra rope. That introduces 2 points of failure and an unstable knot.

If a tree falls in the forest, does the guy tied to it hear it?

Not only is it clearly dead, NPS has added the red tag.

New contenders for worst.

Yes, that's the climbing rope, a single 9/16 runner, on the smaller trunk. 

Another tiny tree. Hopefully, they will wear out their climbing rope before something bad happens.

A little obstacle.